An Orientation to The Wonders of Modern-Day Technology
by Rubyyy
Summary: The orientation to the modern world continues for Kim Boong-do, this time on how wonderful technology is... or is it?


**An Orientation to The Wonders of Modern-Day Technology (and the Proximity of it all)**

 **A/N: THANK YOU ALL for your lovely, lovely reviews of my previous QIHM story. I'm SO glad it was well received! I know as well that I'm about 3 years late in publishing another story... but I hope you'll enjoy nevertheless. (Because Boong-do x technology = an interesting combination!) -R xx**

 _ **Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

* * *

 _Hello?_

 _Hello._

 _..._

 _..._

"This is silly."

"What do you mean, Kim Boong-do _ssi_?"

"I'm sitting right next to you."

"So?"

"So, surely I can talk to you directly without needing to stare into my cell phone and have an... internally incorporated word-based system communicate whatever I need to say to you, when I very well have the capabilities of saying it myself, with my own mouth."

 _(sighs)_ "The beauty of modern day technology, Kim Boong-do _ssi_ , is that we are now far more advanced than having messages sent on foot, via horse, or..." _(shudders)_ "...homing pigeons. Ugh."

"Those pigeons were extremely intelligent, contrary to the less-than-ideal impression you may have of them, Hee-jin _ssi_. Especially Ha-na..."

"Ha... _na_?"

"...she was the first pigeon we ever got, hence the choice of name. She possessed a keen sense of direction, and the accuracy of her deliveries were highly praised within the household. Well, until Ok-bun came along. She was rather sharp too. Oh, and Tae-poong, that boy certainly weathered many storms, but none as fierce as a hurricane that struck in the 17th year..."

 _(sighs)_ "I can't believe I'm listening to a monologue about... _pigeons_. _Oh, a message from Soo-kyung..._ "

"...Tae-poong was a brave soul, and I still recall the time..."

 _...oh, nothing much, just listening to Kim Boong-do natter on about pigeons..._

"...he braved the elements to deliver a letter that contained classified information..."

 _...I know, right? I didn't know anyone would have that much to talk about birds..._

"Hee-jin _ssi_."

"Huh?"

"Are you even listening to this? I'm just getting to the best part. Put the cell phone down."

"B-but..."

"Now."

 _(sulks)_ "Fine. Keep talking about those... birds."

"Pigeons. _"_

"Whatever."

* * *

"Now, Kim Boong-do _ssi_ , since you've decided to stop talking about the pigeons, I suppose I can pick my cell phone up again..."

"Well, you didn't seem to quite appreciate my recounting the epic brush of death that Yeongwoong-i had..."

"THE BIRD RAN INTO A WALL!"

"...and he could have died. My pigeon. Could have. _Died._ "

" _I swear, being in the modern day has made him even more dramatic..." (sighs)_ "Look, I am... _sorry_ that I couldn't be more... _sensitive_ about your bir- ahem, _pigeon_. But we must all live and let live and let bygones be bygones and I'm sure he is now the earliest bird that catches all the worms in heaven... _if worms are even allowed in heaven..._ "

 _(coughs)_ "You're right, Hee-jin _ssi_. Wherever Yeongwoong-i is now, I'm sure he is much happier. Let's get back into your lesson about the internally incorporated word-based system that enables one to communicate with each other without the need to actually use your mouth to speak. Which, to be honest, I still find rather... _inane_. Especially if we are in the same room."

 _(sighs)_ " _Fine_ , maybe our little trial earlier wasn't quite the best example... but what if we're _not_ in the same room? What if I'm having... a meeting! And I'm bored and I just want to say hi? This messenger app is so efficient and discreet such that-"

"Hee-jin _ssi_."

"What? I am _quite_ getting to the point this time..."

"Back in my day, when the scholars had meetings, everyone had to pay attention."

"...and this programme- oh, hello. You have _that_ look in your eyes..."

"But, if anyone lost focus or wasn't paying attention..."

" _...umm, you're leaning over but it's not the kind of leaning over I'm looking forward to..."_

"...and if anyone was caught daydreaming..."

"LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

" _...he would get his eyes gouged out from his face."_

 _(Hee-jin covers her eyes)_ "EEK! _You did not just say that you did not just say that you did not just say that..._ "

 _(Boong-do kisses Hee-jin on the nose, and chuckles to himself)_ "Heavens. It actually worked. Soo-kyung _ssi_ knew what she was talking about when she told me to watch that movie about that group of young people on the deserted island who get killed off one by one..."

"YAH! That's it, no more sneaking into my C-grade horror movie collection!"

* * *

" _Testing testing. 1-2-3..."_

"Hee-jin _ssi_. Would you like to tell me the point of me having to be in the living room while you speak into your cell phone?"

" _Yah!_ Don't come into the kitchen! Stay out there. I'm trying to make a point about the voice notes."

"...You can make notes with your voice?"

"Well, since you're _soooo_ bent on wanting to use your voice to communicate with me, here is another way that you can do so! All you need to do is to press on that little microphone icon on the side and record a message! Like this... A _hem. Testing, testing. Choi Hee-jin to Kim Boong-do._ Okay! Go listen to it out there, and record me a message too!"

"Would it not make more sense for me to connect with you via a phone cal-"

"YAH! JUST GO AND DO IT!"

"Well. Technology apparently does more than increase efficiency and proximity. It even raises temperatures."

" _We'll see about that._ Okay! Record your message!"

" _Hello. This is Kim Boong-d-_ Oh. My finger slipped. Let me try again. Ahem. _Hello. This is Kim Boon-_ Oh. Not again. Maybe I just need to-"

"I'm waaaaaiting~ Kim Boong-do _ssi_ ~"

" _Hello. This i-_ Oh. The angle of my finger needs to... _Hello. Th-_ "

" _5-4-3-2..."_

"CONFOUND IT!"

"Do you need my help, Kim Boong-do _ssi_?"

"Just to get those hand covers you use in the kitchen with the surface that does not encourage slipping of any kind..."

"Gloves. They're called gloves."

"You can call them whatever you like, as long as they work... OH BLAST IT! Not again."

" _Voice notes – 1; Kim Boong-do – 0._ "

* * *

"You want me to take a sel- _what_?"

"A selca! After being with me for soooo long, you couldn't possibly _not_ know what a selca is!"

"You're not referring to the time you tried to sell your car to the _ahjussi_ at the next table in the bar when you had too much to drink..."

 _(huffs)_ " _Jo Soo-kyung, I am going to renounce you as best friend very soon..._ Ha. Ha. No. Definitely not _that_. It means 'self-camera' for short! Self-camera? Sel-ca? See? See?"

"Yes, I do suppose the combination of characters is a rather clever way of shortening speech, reducing the amount of air required to actually have a conversa-"

" _Yah._ I only want you to take a picture with me. Not psycho-analyze the etymology and the scientific workings of the word ' _sel-ca_ '."

"Hee-jin _ssi_. Consider me impressed at your chosen selection of terminology in that last sentence."

"I guess I've picked up a couple of things after hearing you speak this way day in and out. Now shut up and hold my phone- no, the _other_ way, silly!"

"But that's not the side with the camera lens."

"Yes, Sherlock, I know. But if you look a little closer, there is a _teeny tiny_ camera in the front of the phone. That takes pictures too!"

"My, my. The modern world seems so proficient in – what's that word I learnt the other day? - _multi-tasking_? Photographs can even be taken while a phone call is made."

"W-ell, we're not _that_ proficient... but that said, one _can_ make a video call! That's about the same thing."

"A video call. I must learn how that can be done..."

"...just _don't_ take your phone apart like the last time I took a photograph with it."

"I only wanted to check if a fragment of your soul was captured in its internal mechanics."

"I really can't tell if you're joking at times, Kim Boong-do _ssi_. Anyway, stop talking and hold the phone up... up a bit more... hold i- oh, wait, you can't see me now... why do you have to be so tall- EEEEEK!"

"Get your legs around my waist. _Oof._ There. Better, Hee-jin _ssi_?"

"W-well... I suppose you carrying me works better than a selca stick any day."

"There's a stick to encourage this sort of frivolity?"

" _Yah_ , don't-"

"I'm kidding, Hee-jin _ssi_. I rather like this sel-ca business, actually. Especially the proximity of it. Technology may not seem that useless after all."

"The proximity, you say?"

"The proximity is my _favourite_ part."

"Really? Because I know _just_ the thing that goes with the proximity..." _(kisses Boong-do on the lips)_

" _Mmm_. I could get used to this."

 _(kisses Boong-do on the nose)_ " _Mmm._ You'll get the hang of it at some point, I promise. Now, just take that picture, please. Your finger just needs to-"

"...tap that white camera button on the right of the screen, I kn- whoa!"

"YAH! KIM BOONG-DO! I JUST GOT THAT PHONE! HOW COULD YOU DROP IT!"

"I'm sorry, Hee-jin _ssi_ , but the inventors of the modern world really should consider inventing those glove things for people who can't quite hold the pho- _OOF_! Ouch. Okay, okay, I think that means I should put you down now."

"This also means I'm NOT going to talk to you until I get this fixed! _I can't believe he actually dropped it..._ "

"Would you like me to record a voice note-"

"NO!"

"Okay then. Not that I would be able to successfully record one of those anyway. _(sighs)_ _Where are my pigeons when I need them the most._ "


End file.
